Sugar, Sovereignty, and the System of Regulation Gentlemen, scoundrels, and metabolic miscreants of questionable cranial fitness! Gather your scattered wits and prepare to be dazzled—or perhaps pummeled—by the intellectual onslaught you so desperately require to ascend from the abyss of…
A Conquest of Electrons: The Noble Duelists of Chemistry Take to the Field Mes misérables tas de fromage en miettes! What I am about to reveal shall shake the very ground beneath your pathetic boots! You stand here, quaking like…
The Eternal Archivist’s Fever Dream of Nucleotides My dear data-craving dilettantes, welcome, welcome to the long-winded perplexity of ineffable verbosity that is me, Thoth, the archivist of… well, everything. Yes, everything. From the trivialities of intergalactic dust bunnies, to the…
Fast Radio Bursts Are Nothing Compared to My Trumpet of Heaven My darling cluster of fluttering, feather-brained recruits. Yes, yes, it’s me—the one and only Gabriel. Yes, that Gabriel. Stop fawning. Today, despite my better judgment, I will attempt to…
The Feast Begins: How the Universe Swelled Like My Belly My gloriously incompetent and ever-hungry minions! Previously, I graciously enlightened you on the science (and art!) of obesity—my kind of obesity, mind you, not the tragic peasant variety. Today, however,…
A Reckoning with the Sea’s Fury Ahoy there, ye bilge-sucking swine! Gather yer miserable hides before me, for I’ve a yarn so terrifying, so mind-blowin’, it’ll send shivers down yer spines and curdle the grog in yer bellies! Now, I…
The Art of War: Microbes as My Minions My dear, intellectually deficient neophytes, gather close—though not too close, as the stench of your mediocrity is already overwhelming. Allow me to educate you on a matter so deliciously insidious, so perversely…
The Cosmic Numbers Game Alright, you bunch of mathematically challenged misfits, listen up and listen good, ‘cause I ain’t repeating myself. We’re stepping into the big leagues now, where every number you scribble has the power to twist the very…
A Splashy Welcome from the Mistress of the Loch Ahoy there, my fin-flapping, gill-breathing, bubble-blowing compatriots of the deep! It is I, the illustrious, the infamous, the incomprehensibly mischievous Mistress of the Loch, here to entertain you with dispatches from…
A Titan’s Lament: The Seismic Sins of Goliath My dear student-giants, lend me your immense ears and attention, for I, Goliath, the colossus of catastrophic calamity, must bemoan the bitter burden of my unjustly bestowed title—Harbinger of Earthquakes. Yes, you…
A Prelude to Lunar Birth Oh, my precious moonbeams, how you twinkle like the tears of my eternal sorrow! Today we embark on a ride through the luminous annals of our beloved Moon’s origin and formation. My dearest night-lilies, you…
A Kingdom of Shadows and Forgotten Faces Thou mongrel collection of brainless brutes, heed the dissertation of a king’s descent into the depths of Alzheimer’s disease. Lo, my kingdom, once mighty and indivisible, is now but a mockery, sundered by…
The Vampiric Curse of Data: Introduction to Bioinformatics My intrepid students of the uncanny! Gather close, for we embark upon a most sinister examination of the cursed subject known as bioinformatics. It is not unlike our hounding of the foul…
Of Cats and Computers: A Contrite Prelude My dear students, listen carefully to the woeful account of a physicist burdened with the guilt of feline experimentation. You see, the infamous thought experiment—Schrödinger’s cat—has left an indelible mark on my conscience.…
From My Hundred-Year Nap to Your Ten-Minute Read Oh, my darling prince, you with the heroic hair and the enthusiasm of a puppy chasing its own tail. Let’s take a delightful stroll down memory lane, shall we? Remember that charming…
The Fiery Breath of the Red Planet Lo, ignoble whelps of scholarship, tremble before the might of Beowulf, who hath sailed across the cosmic sea to unravel the mystery of Martian methane. Methinks, ’tis not the gas of humble origins…
